SOME MEMOIRS -- by John Ray
Some occasional personal notes from a quiet life...

Etty Bay

1993 &1994

My time with Carol Ward

On Friday 21st May, 1993 I met Carol Ward. She had put a "Personal" advertisement in the Brisbane "Courier Mail" and I had sent her a two page printed reply which she liked. I understand that most of the replies she received were fairly sketchy. For that reason I believe that I was the only respondent on that occasion that she actually bothered to meet.

When she got my letter, she called me on my mobile and we arranged for me to call at her rented flat at Kenmore a day or two later to take her to dinner. As soon as I heard her voice on the phone I felt that I would be hearing a lot of that voice in future. As she had not met me at that time, allowing me to pick her up at home was rather trusting (or intuitive) of her. Women very seldom give out their home address to men in that situation. They normally arrange to meet the man somewhere in town first.

Anyway, we went to an Italian restaurant called "Bacio" at Milton. She ate very little of her meal and later complained that I, by contrast, enjoyed mine! We seemed to have almost instant rapport (with LOTS of laughs together) and we saw one another almost every day thereafter. We first slept together the third time I took her out.

About Carol

Carol came from a business background and had the love of "high quality" material things that one would expect from that. She is 5'6" tall, with blue eyes, fair skin, brown hair (usually dyed blonde) and a fabulous figure (which is in her own words "40, 30, 40" -- inches, of course). The attraction between us was more instinctive than anything else but areas of compatibility between us included: That she liked classical music, that she had an enquiring mind and that she was very impatient, as I am.

Carol and I went very well together in bed (even at 55 she would still have been just about the ultimate sexpot for most men. After a bit of kissing etc. she would describe herself as "burning" -- that is how keen she was on sex. And her figure alone would inspire most males. (I thought she was the ultimate sexpot myself until I met Big Kath) but sexual attraction alone is not enough, of course. The attraction between us certainly included a strong component of physical attraction but it might seem something of a mystery why Carol would find me physically attractive. She has however commented to me a couple of times that she finds intelligence sexy so that is probably most of the answer.

For whatever the reason, the relationship between us was certainly a warm and close one virtually from the day we met. When I met her she had been married and divorced twice with four grown children from her first marriage. She had Pentecostal Christian beliefs so we did discuss Christian teachings a lot. That did give me a good reason to exercise my enthusiasm for quoting Bible texts!

A rather interesting thing about Carol is that she has truly brilliant female intuition. She seemed often to know things (about what I was thinking, for instance) that almost made her seem telepathic.

Carol had two jobs when I met her. Of an evening she was a typing teacher and by day a secretary/administrator. She had virtually walked away from both her previous marriages so was quite poor during the time that I knew her. Both her marriages were quite long term but she has had innumerable affairs in between them and after them.

My Two Years with Carol

Carol moved in to live with me at Forest St around a month after we met but became very negative about me after a while and moved out again at the beginning of September. We continued to see one-another virtually daily after she had moved out, however, so the relationship was obviously a strong one. We did have very good rapport with each other. So after another couple of months she moved back in with me! Then after another couple of months she moved out again! We obviously had a lot in common but there were things that divided us too.

We both tried pretty hard to make a go of it but the main obstacle seemed to be a hormonally-related personality disorder she has. Although she had a hysterectomy around the time of menopause, she obviously still had her ovaries and they played merry hell with her life. Every so often (around once a month) she would get all full of herself and become very impatient and critical of everything about her -- including me. She would then tell me that she didn't want to see me ever again and cut off all contact with me for a week or two. After that (i.e. after the hormonal surge had died down) I would get a tearful phone call telling me how much she loved me. So we had lots of reunions and partings -- as there was a really strong attraction between us.

Dining with Carol at The Mansions restaurant on Petrie Terrace. Carol not shown as she took the picture

We dined out a fair bit but spent most of our evenings together in bed. When we were not dining out I would generally provide something ready-prepared for Carol to cook -- I particularly liked Lenard's chicken products. After dining together, we would adjourn to the lounge to have our cup of tea and chat on. After a while, however, Carol would get up and come and sit on my lap like a cat and kiss me. So with those two big firm DD breasts only six inches from my nose we were soon bedroom-bound.

I will always remember Carol for giving me two very nice birthday parties -- my 50th and 51st. I had always thought of my 50th as something of a watershed in my life and it looked like I was going to have a very bad 50th after Jenny left me not long previously when I was aged 49. By the time my 50th came around, however, Carol and I were thoroughly involved and she shouted me a dinner for 4 at a French restaurant in town. It would have cost her around $100, which was a lot at the time. The other couple were Marie Toohey and Bill Fisher -- who were romantically involved at the time. Both Carol and I liked Bill. He was a 55-year old Brisbane Mensan and also at the time recently pinged off by a long-term wife. Marie, of course, was my ex-girlfriend from 1983, when I also met Jenny. Carol wore a mini-skirt for the dinner and it was a very pleasant and congenial occasion.

For my 51st, Carol gave me a surprise party at home (at Forest St) and invited over Jenny, Ken, Maureen and all the kids -- which was just what I wanted. Carol did not at all approve of my retaining friendships with ex-wives, girlfriends etc but it was so much me that she eventually went along with it to an extent. On my 52nd birthday she was hormonal, however, and so totally ignored it. She didn't even ring me to say Happy Birthday. This was particularly ironical as just a few weeks before she had actually wanted us to get married on that date! When she came back down to earth, however, she must have realized the enormity of what she had done and did not contact me for about 5 weeks.

Even then, we met only by chance just outside the Rocklea Markets. When I ran into her there I slapped a big kiss on her which she returned enthusiastically. She never was shy in public. There was no going back at that stage, however, and although we did have some good fun in bed for a bit after that I continued to see other women. When I met Big Kath, I just told Carol about it and we did then finally part.

Carol was of course very upset but after the number of times she had broken it off with me she could hardly complain about me eventually breaking it off with her. After Kath and I broke up, Carol and I did sleep together again a few times, however, and we have remained friends.